Making You Mine
by NightShade94
Summary: She had let herself fall in the kind of love books were written and movies were made about, only to realize that there was a very good chance she had already lost him for good.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N : My first multi-chapter Criminal Minds fic. This goes out to all of you who requested a multi-chapter after my oneshot (Maybe) , specially lolyncut. Hope you enjoy it. **_

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><p>Emily Prentiss made her way into the FBI Headquarters at a harried pace. She was already fifteen minutes late; any longer and Hotch would have her head. As she waited for the elevator doors to open, she cursed her recently acquired insomnia. She had been up into the early hours of the morning, agonizing over her ruined friendship with one Dr. Spencer Reid, and when she did fall asleep, she had manage to slumber through her alarm.<p>

It was ironic really. Even when she had been away from the entire team, worrying constantly about them in Paris, she hadn't been this sleep deprived. But now that she was back, and the threat had been neutralized, the after effects of her decision kept her up almost every single night. The ever-present feelings of guilt and self pity she could deal with. It was the pain that was crippling her. Her famous skills of compartmentalizing had abandoned her, and Emily struggled to keep her feelings in check – and more often than not, tears at bay – on a daily basis. Half-heartedly she wondered how long she would be able to attribute the sudden bouts of frustrated tears to hormones. Not long enough, she decided. After all, she worked with the most skilled profilers in the country. And even worse, Spencer was usually the most perceptive towards his friend's demeanors.

Taking a deep breath, she made her way into the bullpen, her eyes immediately searching for the object of her ruminations.

Dr. Spencer Reid was seated at his desk, working his way through the many case files piled upon his desk, at a pace that roused both awe and jealousy in every agent in the vicinity if the looks they were throwing him were anything to go by. As usual, Emily couldn't hold back the smile upon seeing him, and the painful knot in her chest unfurled a little.

Sighing at her own pathetic self, she took her seat.

"Good Morning Reid."

'Morning" He didn't even look up from his file to offer her his trademark goofy grin, as he would once have done and her own smile faded immediately. It was the simple things like this that were giving her an ulcer. The Spencer Reid she had known would pull her into conversation as soon as she arrived in the office, happy to see his friend. But now, she would be lucky if she said more than two sentences to her all day.

"Any new cases?" she tried again.

"No" came his curt reply.

"Oh. Okay."

Reaching for one of the many files littering her desk, Emily accepted defeat. Momentarily, at least. It was obvious that he wasn't going to forgive her any time soon. And given the pain and frustration she had put him through, she knew that she probably deserved his cold treatment of her. That didn't mean that she was about to give up either. One way or the other, she was going to get her best friend back. Her barely hidden attraction for him made matters increasingly difficult. In fact, every time he brushed past her, or sat near her in the jet, he unknowingly set her fluttering.

It was a miracle that JJ and Penelope hadn't already picked up on her frequent R-rated thoughts. And it was a miracle that she was thankful for. Even if she had admitted her feelings to herself, she wasn't ready to share them with her self-appointed cheerleading squad. They would undoubtedly try to play matchmaker, and she wasn't quite ready to have her heart broken.

Ditching that particular line of thought in favor of the case files piled upon her desk, Emily reluctantly got to work, only looking up to answer Morgan after he greeted her upon his arrival.

/

It was almost lunchtime when Reid abruptly stood from his desk - paperwork obviously dealt with- and headed towards Rossi's office. The older profiler hadn't called him in and Reid wasn't one to spontaneously visit his co-workers for a chat. What was that about then? Tearing her eyes away from the now closed door Emily chanced a glance at Morgan to see whether he had noticed her stalking his Pretty Boy with her eyes.

To her immense relief, the dark skinned man too had his eyes trained on Rossi's office. As if feeling her gaze on his, he turned to her with a look that clearly conveyed his curiosity. Emily could only shrug in reply.

After a few more minutes of pointless gawking, both the profilers had about given up and turned to the case files in front of them when Reid emerged from Rossi's office. He made a beeline for his desk and packed up his messenger bag without sparing them a glance. Emily couldn't express her relief when Morgan finally snapped and asked the question that was on her mind as well.

"Hey kid. What's going on?"

"I'm taking a personal day. Days, actually. I have to deal with some stuff with my Mom. I'll be back in a couple of days." He didn't stop to offer his explanation or give them a chance to say anything. He just gave her a curt nod and patted Morgan on the shoulder before hurrying out of the bullpen.

Emily turned her attention toward her friend in an effort to ignore the acute pain that bloomed in her chest whenever the young genius was out of her sight. Derek Morgan looked like he did whenever he tried to comfort the many grieving relatives of victims that they met every day. In a word, he looked helpless.

"He shouldn't have to deal with this alone." He murmured vehemently. Derek had always been fiercely protective when it came to Spencer; their relationship was that of brothers. And Emily knew for a fact that it stung that the man he considered his little brother would never ask him for help, for anything, really.

"I know Morgan, I know"

With that, both of them dived back into work, neither willing to admit that it was the only way either could stop themselves from tearing after the man who held both their hearts, though in utterly different ways.

/

So focused was Emily in the file she had open in front of her that it startled her when Hotch called them into the BAU room, a different kind of urgency in his voice. Well, today was just one surprise after the other, Emily thought as she followed JJ and Morgan into the space allocated singularly for their team.

Taking her seat, she noticed that every one of them looked as clueless as she felt, and weirdly enough, that made her feel a bit better. Garcia had barely entered the room when Hotch asked stiffly.

"Where's Reid?"

"He's gone home to see his mother. He took a couple days leave remember?" it was Rossi who answered, prompting both JJ and Garcia to jump up with incredulous expressions. Obviously neither had known about their friend's plans and for some reason, Hotch's face became even grimmer when he realized that.

"I had a meeting with Strauss and the Director this morning concerning this team" he announced before either woman could voice her thoughts.

"Not again. What are we under fire for this time?" Morgan groaned, his thoughts perfectly in line with those of every other person in the room.

"This wasn't about the entire team. It was specifically about one member. Which is why this meeting is less about this team and more about this family." With this statement he had the absolute attention of the room. It wasn't often that their leader verbally made concession to the familial bonds they shared with each other. This was more serious than they realized.

"About a month ago all of you were asked whether or not you would like to remain with the team. The documents requesting reinstatement to the unit were to be submitted directly to Strauss. Which we all did. All of us except Reid."

With a weary sigh Hotch sank back into this chair as he let the rest of the team digest the news. Emily felt her heart drop into her stomach. Things were far worse than she had ever thought in her worst nightmares. She had let herself fall in the kind of love books were written and movies were made about, only to realize that there was a very good chance she had already lost him for good.

Emily jumped as Morgan shot out of his chair, fist slamming hard on the table.

"Are you telling me that we have lost Reid?" his question was little more than a growl at this point.

"I am telling you that the consequences of my decision from months ago are far dire than we ever contemplated. The Director called me in because he doesn't want to lose and agent like Reid. He is far too valuable to the bureau. He wants us to do all that is in our power to make sure that doesn't happen."

"Would Spence really leave us?" the insecurity and pain that laced her words didn't suit JJ at all. She would have thought it would be Penelope who asked that particular question.

"Most if not all government agencies are interested in him. The NSA and Fort Dietrich have gone so far as to offer him a position and salary of his choosing. If he doesn't ask to be reinstated, he still remains as part of the bureau until he makes his resignation official, but it also means other agencies are allowed to be more aggressive in their pursuit. Its' quite really a golden opportunity."

"He _has_ withdrawn from us almost completely. I just thought he was coming to terms with everything and needed space. Some profiler I am" Rossi sounded almost disbelieving as he stated the conclusion that we had all come to.

"Of course he withdrew. He trusted us and you threw it back in his face." Accusation rang in Morgan's words, and though he didn't even look at anybody specifically, we all knew who he was referring to. Hotch and JJ flinched as though they had been struck, the guilty tears she had been holding in finally pouring from the media liaison's face. Emily pressed a fist to her chest in vain attempt to dispel the ache that bloomed there blinking rapidly to chase away the moisture that collected in her eyes.

It was Garcia who broke the downcast atmosphere in the room.

"Okay, so we need to do damage control. Come on guys, he hasn't left us _yet_! Some of us messed up – no offence Hotch – and we are all coming to terms with it. Reid is just a lot more sensitive to this kind of thing. We all know that. Sitting around being moody isn't going to solve everything."

"What do you suggest we do Baby Girl?"

"Power meeting at JJ's after work today. We're family. We can find a way out of this. Just as soon as the Priestess of All Knowledge comes up with a plan."

With that declaration Emily felt her heart grow lighter. If anyone could convince Reid to stay, it was Penelope Garcia. Emily allowed herself to hope, something she hadn't done in years, and prayed that Garcia was right.

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><p><strong><em>AN: Okay so I realize that some characters might be OOC. But I figure that the team is still reeling from Emily's return, and this was the way I needed them to be for this story. Please take the time to leave a review._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N : Thank you for all the wonderful feedback. I cannot tell you how much it is appreciated. **_

_**On with the story then... =)**_

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><p>For the next week, Emily went to work every day hoping that Spencer would have returned home. And every day, she had been bitterly disappointed. It took everything in her not to book a place on the earliest flight to Nevada, and she knew she wasn't the only one. But even she, desperate as she was, knew that Hotch was right. Spencer would not appreciate their crossing state lines and interrupting his time with his mother to stage the intervention they sorely wanted to.<p>

Such was their Unit Chief's determination to allow his subordinate the space that he so obviously desired that Hotch refused to call Reid back when a new case presented itself. 'Reid needs this time away to clear his head – we will just have to mange without him for one case' were his exact words. Wanting vehemently to disagree, Emily forced herself to be quiet. She couldn't give herself away, not yet.

So when – after a disastrous preliminary profile, a geographical profile that defied the very laws of mathematics and geography that it relied on, and a seemingly random array of clues left by the UnSub – Hotch all but ordered Garcia to track Reid down, Emily concentrated vigilantly on keeping from dancing for joy. And as the others marveled at the fact that almost all their cases seemed to be solved due to some snippet of information their young genius came up with, she practiced her calm, stoic profiler-y face. Her little bubble of glee popped mightily however, when Garcia had informed them that Reid had left Vegas two days ago and that he wasn't answering his phone.

Had it been anyone else, they wouldn't have given it much thought. It wasn't everyday they were allowed to take leave from their jobs; it was only natural that they would want some time in isolation. But this was Spencer, and where he was concerned disaster seemed to strike with a disturbing frequency. Emily's face mirrored the worry she would see in all her team-mates eyes.

"Couldn't you track his phone Garcia? Or call Bennington maybe?" Morgan nodded enthusiastically at her suggestion, and the technical analyst in question turned to go to her makeshift lair to do just that.

"Garcia wait." Hotch stopped her, his face grim."You all seem to have forgotten that we have a case to solve. We can worry about Reid later."

"But Hotch, we can't crack this one without Reid's super-brain and we know it. We gotta find him and bring him back."

"Morgan's right you know, Reid is probably the only person who can decipher this one." Rossi sided with Morgan.

Hotch glanced at his team, indecision clear on his face. Emily knew what his dilemma was, even if she didn't like it. It was imperative that they caught up with this UnSub before he could snatch another girl, and trying to find Spencer would take precious resources and time away from the case. They couldn't afford to do that. But at the same time, he knew that Rossi and Morgan were right. Spencer could solve this case in half the time it would take them to come up with a preliminary profile; his brilliant mind coming up with patterns theirs couldn't even comprehend. Not for the first time, she realized how much they underappreciated their resident genius.

Before Hotch could give an order, the detective in charge of the investigation burst into the room, almost hysterical.

"Guys, he has taken another girl; again from a bus stop. "

Hotch took one look at the flustered officer before turning to Garcia.

"Find me Reid. Now."

/

She was out at the newest kidnap site with Morgan when his phone buzzed. Emily perked up, knowing that it would be Garcia, and that it was probably news on Spencer.

"Hey crime fighters, our good doctor is back and he has a new site to check for you." Her friend's chirpy voice floated from the phone Morgan held in his hand.

"He finished with the geographical profile already?" Emily couldn't help asking, incredulous.

"Yep. He was already on his way here when we called him actually. And boy genius also figured out what the cards the UnSub was placing near each victim's bodies had written on them. Apparently it's in Gaelic. The creep actually wants us to find him. Rossi and JJ are following that lead right now." She informed them

"Only Reid" Morgan chuckled, shaking his head. It was obvious that he was glad his partner was back, but the acute profiler in Emily also saw relief that he had his brother near him again, where he could protect him. She returned his widening grin with her own. Spencer was back. She couldn't wait to see him after almost nine days.

The cynic that resided in her head scoffed at her thoughts. She had become so addicted to him that even a few days without seeing him were torturous. And they weren't even close friends anymore, let alone anything more.

Ugh. She really was pathetic. Shaking her head at her own disparaging thoughts, Emily followed Morgan into the SUV. Duty calls.

/

By the time they had put their latest criminal away – and with a confession to boot, courtesy of Hotch and his most fearsome glare – it was late into the night. Praising his team for their efforts, especially Reid, he had insisted that they delay their departure for the morning. Judging from the sighs of relief, Emily wasn't the only one who thought that this was a grand idea.

And seated in the restaurant in their hotel, surrounded by the buzz of friendly conversation, she thanked her lucky stars for their victory. They had caught up with their UnSub just in time to save his latest victim. With help from her family and loved ones, she would be alright in time.

With another sigh of contentment, Emily raised her eyes from her plate to glance to discreetly – she hoped – at Spencer. He was seated between Morgan and Rossi, facing Garcia who was next to her, the corners of his mouth pulled up slightly in a faint smile at whatever it was that Garcia was saying. He was so handsome, especially now that he had gained some weight, filing out in all the right places. He had remained rather quiet this evening, not taking up his usual bickering routine with Morgan, though now that she thought about it, she had yet to see that particular sight since her return.

Perhaps feeling her eyes on him, he looked up, prompting her to tone down the dreaminess in her smile, lest he caught on. Still holding her eyes with his, Spencer picked up his glass and took a sip of his drink, absently licking his lips afterwards. She shivered deliciously, biting her lip almost unconsciously. And just like that, any traces of humor in his eyes vanished, his expression turning analytical, and moments later understanding darkened his golden eyes.

Uh oh

Blushing scarlet, Emily turned away abruptly, unable to bare the sudden intensity of his gaze. For the remainder of the meal, she refused to even glance in his direction, firmly keeping her eyes on JJ and Hotch, feigning interest in their conversation. And when the team finally stood to head in for the night, she couldn't have conveyed her relief if she had wanted to.

Handing JJ the key to their shared room, she muttered an excuse about wanting some air and rushed out of the lobby, still feeling his intense gaze on her. She had been caught almost red-handed urging her mind to go into panic mode. And as she didn't want to have an anxiety attack in front of the team, her only other alternative was to flee.

_Yes, run away why don't you? You seem to do that quite well. _

Ignoring the scolding voice in her head, Emily marched out of the hotel into the cool night air refusing to acknowledge the fact that it was her flight response that had landed her in this mess in the first place.

/

Almost a half hour later, it was a much calmer Emily who made her way along the silent corridor of the hotel. She knew Spencer, he wasn't the confrontational type. She had nothing to worry about.

_Correction: you know Dr. Reid, FBI's prized genius; one of the best agents in the bureau. You have no idea who Spencer the man is_. Her mind mocked her.

Acknowledging the upsetting thought to be true, she still refused to be thwarted in her mission to get some rest. She was too tired to have another panic attack.

With a weary sigh she knocked on the door, knowing JJ would have waited up for her to get back. When there was no answer after a few moments, Emily turned the knob and the door eased open. Frowning slightly at her friend's disregard for safety measures she let herself inside and froze solid at the sight that greeted her, mouth open.

Spencer. The object of her fantasies stood in front of her naked but for a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. His short curls were dripping with moisture, water still trickling down his surprisingly broad and built chest. He had obviously come out of the shower in a hurry.

Unable to help herself, Emily licked her lips. At that, his eyes darkened considerably the surprise in his eyes melding with something else, becoming flat and unreadable. He took a few steps towards her and she was reminded of a tiger stalking its prey.

Before she could react in any way, Spencer was less than a hair's breath away from her. The strong woodsy scent with hints of coffee that she had come to associate with him flooded her nostrils and she gasped, pleasurable tremors rocking her body.

"What do you want from me Emily?" Spencer sounded weary, almost angry. When she didn't reply he pressed a single finger under her chin and forced her to look up until his lips were hovering over hers and she was breathing the same air as him.

"Is this what you want?" her foggy mind just barely registered his question, her eyes fixated on his lips.

She had scarcely time to nod when his lips came crashing down upon hers.

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><p><em><strong>AN : So? Good? Bad? God-awful? Lemme know. =)**_

_**-NightShade94**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: My first attempt at writing anything even remotely lemony. So yeah, here goes nothing.**

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><p>Whatever Emily had expected Spencer's kiss to feel like, reality was nothing like it. She had imagined it more times than she cared to admit and in all her lust fueled fantasies he was gentle and sweet and passive, just like he was on a day to day basis. But now, breathless and barely conscious of her surroundings, Emily was forced to admit that Spencer Reid in lust was a whole other animal to what she was used to.<p>

One hand was wrapped firmly around her waist, anchoring her to his unyielding form while the other had moved from her chin to tangle itself in her hair keeping her prisoner while hers clutched desperately on his biceps. His lips dominated hers in a rough, aggressive kiss, tongue clashing with hers. Her knees had given out long ago, only his hold on her keeping her up.

It was a good while later that he released her now bruised and swollen lips, resting his forehead against hers as the hand gripping her hair came to a rest against her neck, thumb rubbing slow circles against her pulse point. Emily shivered at the caress; eyelids fluttering shut, her breath escaping her in wheezes. She was thrilled to notice that Spencer's breathing had become ragged too. He was just as affected as she was, and this gave her a much needed burst of confidence.

His lips brushed against hers again softly, once, twice, sending delicious tremors down her spine. Slow, loving kisses that warmed her heart. An intense longing gripped her, desire for this man holding her driving her slowly insane. She hadn't been this turned on in years. And judging by his addictive kisses, Emily had a feeling that her G-man was a genius in more ways than one. The thought sent arrows of molten heat straight to her core and she couldn't hold back the throaty moan that escaped her. She was so far gone that she could barely comprehend his words when he spoke against her lips, his voice suddenly gentle.

"Tell me what you want Emily." He breathed. And she spoke the first thing that crossed her lust riddled mind.

"I… I want you to fuck me." if she had been more conscious of her own self; Emily would have been mortified at her choice of words and the wanton need that laced her words.

He stiffened at her words, body going rigid and his hands around her tightening to the degree of pain, jaw clenching almost audibly. Raising her eyes to his, Emily was mystified by what she saw. His usually golden brown eyes had gone black with a primal desire and something else she would much later identify as raw unbridled rage.

The fury disappeared as quickly as it had appeared though, his eyes once again becoming unreadable. His gaze reminded her of a shark's then, sharp, cold and calculating. Coherent thought processes abandoned her after that, drowned in her ardent desire for the man who held her in his arms, and before she knew it her clothes were torn off her body in quick succession, leaving her in just her underwear. She gasped as cold air hit her exposed skin, goosebumps forming on her arms.

But those long pianists' fingers, rubbing up and down her sides, chased the chill away and Emily wrapped her arms around his shoulders, bringing his face down to hers in a fervent kiss, impatient for what was to come. She didn't want slow, gentle lovemaking tonight. She wanted something hot and rough and fast; his earlier kisses had set the mood for the night and she was delirious with need.

Deepening the kiss, Spencer lifted her right off the ground and she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist. She was pleasantly surprised by the obvious strength in his sleek body and any vestiges of patience that may have remained quickly evaporated.

"I want you, _now_." She asserted against his seeking mouth, earning a low growl unlike any sound she had ever heard him make.

The next thing she knew, her back hit the soft hotel bed, and his lips left hers. Whining at the loss, Emily opened her eyes to find him towering above her, kneeling between her spread legs. Somehow, the towel had remained wrapped around his hips, and Emily felt a surge of dislike towards the unassuming cotton for it was obstructing her view. She reached out to pull the offending garment away, only to find her wrist captured in a tight hold.

Taking hold of her other wrist as well, Spencer pulled her hands above her head in one of his, hovering over her dominatingly. Acknowledging his silent demand, Emily handed him back all the control and was passive for the first time in her life, allowing him to take her as he wished. A closet feminist, she had never let herself be dominated by a man before, even in the throes of passion. She had expected it to feel strange and uncomfortable, but this complete forfeit of control felt strangely liberating.

And so she lay back and allowed him claim her, giving herself over to his seeking mouth and fingers, and later, as she lay trembling with her release; all of him. There was nothing tender about their coupling. There was no gentleness, no careful caresses, no tender kisses. Instead, it was the fierceness of two bodies clamouring for physical satiation without concern for anything else. He took her roughly and forcefully, over and over and over again until Emily was sure that her body – completely sated and exhausted – couldn't possibly take any more. But even during the most intimate of moments, as he moved above her, their bodies joint as one physical entity, showing her just what an IQ of 187 entailed when it came to sexual satisfaction, Spencer was still withdrawn, eyes a storm of something indecipherable and poker face firmly in place.

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><p>It was a long while later that Emily came back down from her high, random tremors of pleasure still racking her body. She couldn't remember being this satisfied in a long time and revelled in the exhaustion she felt right down to the bone. She stretched languidly, and discovered that her whole body ached deliciously. Bruises were guaranteed and judging by the dull throbbing at her core, there was no way she would be able to walk properly in the morning. Who knew wonder boy was such a beast in bed? Emily chuckled at the thought. JJ and Garcia were going to have a field day with this.<p>

Without opening her eyes, she reached for her new found lover, only to find that his side of the bed was empty, and cold.

She was fully awake now, eyes snapping open to seek him out.

Spencer was leaning against the wall across from the bed, facing her. He had pulled his pants on and had his arms folded across his chest.

"Reid…" she began, suddenly feeling awfully exposed. She noticed a neatly folded pile of clothes near her and recognized them to be her own. A feeling of foreboding overtook her, and she uncertainly raised her eyes to meet his. Only then did she notice the rigid stance, clenched jaw and golden eyes that flashed dangerously. He was _radiating_ anger and for the first time Emily felt something other than safe in his presence. This wasn't the Reid she knew like the back of her hand. This was Spencer, and he looked like a man at the end of his tether.

"Spencer, I…" she tried again.

"_Don't_." His voice was sharp and harsh, and with a weary sigh, he continued. "You told me to fuck you. I did, more than once. And now you need to leave, _Agent Prentiss_. Before I give you another ulcer." He hissed the cruel words at her in a voice that was laced with rage, and yet his face remained expressionless, giving nothing away.

Every word struck her like a physical blow and Emily averted her gaze from his, unable to look into his blazing eyes anymore. Pain and guilt chocked her throat, chest tightening agonizingly. And so Emily did the last thing she had expected to do tonight. She wordlessly took the clothes he had laid out for her and wrapping the sheets firmly around herself, headed for the bathroom.

Holding herself and the tormented tears in check by a thread, she dressed herself robotically in just her shirt and pants; Spencer having quite literally ripped her underwear to shreds.

When she came out of the bathroom, he was standing at the window with his back to her, still shirtless. He didn't make a single movement to acknowledge her as she walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. As if on autopilot, Emily made her way to the room across from the one she had just vacated and knocked softly.

The door opened almost immediately, her friend's anxious face furrowing further at the sight of the miserable picture Emily knew she made.

"I don't wanna talk about it Jayje. Please." Taking in her friends' slow nod, she trudged toward one of the twin beds in the room and lay down, curling upon herself. The pain and exhaustion she had held at bay engulfed her then, and Emily surrendered to the inviting embrace of sleep, hot tears trailing down her face into her pillow.

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><p><strong>AN: So, how'd I do? :) And please don't hate our beloved genius too much. He has his reasons. I promise. Do leave a review. **

**-NightShade94**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N : Hi there fellow Spemily shippers. I know that its been a long while since I updated any of my stories. Finals were dragging me across burning coals. But now that I am finally a free woman, updates will be coming much much faster. =)**

**Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it is not mine. **

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><p>The next morning Emily woke up feeling worse than she had when she had woken up, beaten and alone in Bethesda all those months ago. Opening her eyes wearily, it took her a moment to work out why she felt oh-<em>so<em> miserable. And as the events of the previous night caught up to her, the ache of her newly broken heart made itself known and she wanted to close her eyes and never wake up again. Surely death was better than this.

Sighing at how melancholy her thoughts had become as of late she gave herself a mental shake. She must have dreamt it all. Surely Dr. Spencer Reid would never intentionally and knowingly hurt anybody, it just wasn't the kind of person that he was.

Comforted by the thought, Emily sat up, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed. The sharp stab of pain that radiated through her body at the movement startled her. Now that she thought about it, her body ached in places she had long forgotten existed. As the bitter-sweet remainders of the previous night plagued her thoughts, Emily heaved a sigh, feeling her eyes water. So much for it being a dream.

Just then, JJ stepped out of the bathroom, running a towel through her damp hair, hotel-issued robes tied securely around herself. Seeing that her friend was up she calmly walked toward the twin bed she had occupied the past few nights and sat down facing Emily who was working hard on keeping her turmoil off her face; rapidly blinking tears away.

"So, do you want to tell me what happened?"

The affectionate, obvious concern on JJ's face almost did her in, but Emily brushed off the question in what she hoped was a calm fashion.

"JJ, its nothing."

"You cried yourself to sleep last night Emily. Obviously it's not _nothing_. You can tell me Em." JJ's voice betrayed just how much the tears had alarmed and worried her, and for a fleeting moment, Emily wanted nothing more than to confide in her friend. But then the moment passed and her flight response kicked in.

"I really don't want to talk about it. Let it go JJ." Brushing back her hair with anxious hands Emily studiously avoided her friend's gaze. Concentrating on making it to the bathroom without wincing, she stood up and made her way across the room hoping for all she was worth, that JJ would not notice her slight limp.

Stepping inside the sanctuary the bathroom provided, Emily divested herself of her shirt and slacks, hurriedly stepping into the shower, diligently avoiding the dull ache she felt radiating from her wonderfully tired muscles. Thinking about it would lead to thinking about him, and if she wanted to avoid breaking apart at the first sight of him, she had better start compartmentalizing now.

Emily was working on doing just that – albeit rather unsuccessfully – when she caught sight of herself in the full length mirror situated in the bathroom. Gasping as she took in her reflection she lost what little composure she had managed to garner. Her neck and upper torso were peppered with purple-pink love bites and both her hips bore the mark of his hands from when he had held her down, inflicting wave after wave of unexplainable bliss upon her. She could clearly make out every finger and shivered as a yearning stronger than she had ever felt took her breath away.

She remembered how the pleasure had bordered on pain as he had roughly claimed her as she had never allowed anyone to. And in the unforgiving light of day, she could also remember the undiluted rage that had been present right alongside the lust. He had been punishing her, she realized. He had punished her harshly through the gratification he delivered and instead of shrinking away from it as she probably should; she wanted him all the more. Even now, as she recalled her own embarrassingly wanton behavior, her body burnt for him, and for that, she felt shame. What kind of masochist was she?

A quiet knock drew her away from her racing thoughts, tearing her gaze away from her reflection.

"Yeah?" she called out, her voice shakier than she could care to admit.

"I'm going down for breakfast 'kay? Wheels up in an hour." JJ's voice floated through the door, and Emily called out her acquiesce.

Stepping into the shower and determinedly ignoring her previous train of thought she went through her morning routine as if on auto-pilot. Facing Spencer in the harsh daylight would by far be among the hardest things she had ever had to do. No two ways about it.

/

Emily made her way down to the lobby, go-bag packed and ready to go, ever grateful for the soothing effects of the hot shower she had taken. Her aches had subsided a little and she could now walk without limping.

The team was gathered at the reception to check-out of the hotel and her subconscious immediately sought out the tall, handsome doctor who wreaked havoc on her psyche with so little effort. She made her way over, praying to any deity that was listening to help her keep her composure.

Walking up to them she handed her key to Hotch. She had resigned herself to standing around awkwardly without making eye contact with either Spencer or JJ when Morgan's voice drew her attention.

"…Earth to Emily. Hey there." When she looked up he grinned roguishly drawing a smile from her as well. His good mood was infectious and Emily felt a rush of affection for the over-protective man. The feeling fled quickly, however, when his next words registered with her.

"What's with the turtle neck? You actively _trying_ to get a heat-stroke?"

Involuntarily, her eyes were drawn to Spencer's and whatever it was that Emily was expecting or even hoping to see, indifference; an almost cynical disinterest was definitely not it. Irritated by his lackadaisical attitude and angry at herself for letting him get so deep under her skin, she released the full extent of the patented Prentiss family glare upon Morgan who backed away from her, arms raised in surrender prompting chuckles from Rossi and JJ. Even their ever-stoic Unit Chief cracked a smile and yet it was as though Spencer was carved from stone.

Unable to take any more of his aloofness, Emily purposefully made sure not to sit in the same car as they drove to the airstrip. And once there, she stalled and waited until he and everyone else had climbed aboard before stepping on to the aircraft. This proved to be a miscalculation on her part; the only seat not occupied was the one next to Spencer. Naturally. She scoffed mentally.

Seating herself next to him, she withdrew a book from her carry-on and flipped it open; a clear warning that she did not want to be engaged in conversation or cards or any other shenanigans Morgan would come up with.

They were seated close enough that she could clearly make out his scent and feel the warmth of his body on her arm and thigh where they were almost touching. Still, she refused to even glance at him no matter how much she wanted to. She didn't know if she could stand to see the look of cold indifference on his face again. And so Emily sat back and glared at the book she cradled in her hands as she endured the longest flight of her life.

/

As soon as they landed, Emily feigned illness and made her way straight home without stopping by at the Bureau with the rest of the team as was their tradition. Assuring Hotch that she would tackle the paper work the minute she felt well enough, and refusing Rossi's offers to drive her home, she sped away from the airstrip, just barely keeping her tears at bay.

All through the duration of the drive home, her mind kept replaying the events of last night and the morning as if on loop. Over the past day she had seen a side of Spencer that she could never have believed existed. But then again, a person could only be pushed so far until they start pushing back. As a profiler, she knew that. But to see sweet, gentle, passive Dr. Reid act on his lust and his anger had been exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.

Stepping into an apartment that suddenly appeared too-too big, Emily felt an all encompassing grief consume her; as though she was standing at the precipice of something unexpected, something painful. Shaking the feeling of foreboding off, she made her way to the refrigerator. She needed some ice cream. In fact, she needed a couple tubs of it. She was going to curl up with the creamy treat in her most comfortable pajamas and wallow in self-pity. The love of her existence had all but thrown her out of his life. She should get to wallow if she wanted to.

And she was almost half way through her first tub of the creamy caramel-y concoction when there was a knock on her door. Frowning, Emily made her way to the door. Checking through the peephole, Emily had the passing urge to just ignore the people on the other side. But then again, one of them was her tech-savvy friend, and you did not mess with Penelope Garcia.

Cracking open the door Emily grumbled at the two blondes standing in front of her, armed with paper bags and wearing scarily similar expressions of steely determination.

"What?"

The two pushed past her without so much as a hello and immediately made themselves comfortable in her living room. Then, perhaps seeing the indignant expression on Emily's face, Penelope decided to break the silence.

"We are going to eat ice cream and drink ourselves silly and then you are going to spill the beans missy. After that, we shall work on contingency plans for whatever it is that has made Princess Xena transform into Moaning Myrtle, capice?"

After the initial burst of self-righteous anger, Emily deflated. Who was she kidding? She was hopeless. She might as well expand the perimeters of the pity party. With that thought in mind she settled down on her living room carpet next to JJ and made herself comfortable. Maybe it was time to purge after all. What else did she have to lose?

* * *

><p><strong>AN : Okay so I know that this chapter may feel like a filler, but bear with me please. I promise that this is all crucial to the story in the long run. The truly shocking revelations are up in the coming chapter. **

**Please leave a review.**

**-NightShade94**


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